Family is an Oasis

I have been married for over 20 years. At the beginning we had had some conflicts in small things that are the cultural differences. Except these issues so far so good marriage for me. I appreciate my wife for giving me such a wonderful life until now, but nobody knows the future:-)

I have read the following essay about marriage. “Couple love and romance are different. If you misunderstood this fact, two, three, five years after your marriage, losing an attraction as a romance partner you wake up from a dream and relationship will become as brother and sister, friends, mother and son, or master and disciple. This era is a stage of fatigue that we have to be careful and change our idea on marriage because both wife and husband see faults and defects each other. It is a time to examine if they can live their long life together really. It doesn’t matter whether your have high status in a society or your beauty or skills. It is a serious and sadness moment to consider a rest of their life.

As a result of foreseeing if they decide they are reliable and credential, that’s decision called a 真諦 (ultimate truth) in buddhism. That is an acknowledgement of truth and reality so that you never lose your way. This is a true union from the law of casualty by a natural force. I think through this combination true marriage life and true love between wife and husband will begin. Therefore a love reaching this point is as very natural as a fish in water, trees in a mountain. Still sometimes they quarrel each other, hate each other and complain each other, but they never separate anymore. Since they are oneness so that a wife never miss a husband’s suspicious behavior.

This is one example, the wife said to her husband “Where are you going?” at the door. “Wherever you go it is the same as me. It is not as good as me nor as bad as me. Don’t waste your time, let’s go to play together.”. Making a bitter smile, he said “I gave up” and they went together.” I say “What a wonderful couple, isn’t it?”



Recently Japanese talk and variety shows like “Extra” in the US are often showing the news of a guy who was one of five members group called “TOKIO”. He has been accused of bringing a high school girl to his home, drinking alcohol and forcing a kiss to her. By this case he resigned the group and a production he was belonging to. Before this incident he had hospitalized for one month due to an alcoholism. At the day he was out of the hospital he drunk again. This affair would be caused by this symptom. Another story about a guy who became an alcoholism is that he woke up in the Monday morning there was an leftover of alcohol from the last night beside him, thinking that if he drunk it I wouldn’t go to work so he drunk all. Since then day after day he had repeated drinking again and again.

I understand these stories because I used to drink while I had had a hard time with so much stress and no hope in front of me. Still I could go to work but mentally I was depending on an alcohol in some way. It was days that I couldn’t face my life straightly and looking for an escape.Fortunately, I didn’t fall deeply as such above cases because my self-restraint was still working. However, if it had been broken I would be the same as those cases. Everyone has some chances to fall into these cases. We are human beings that depend on something. The worst case is to depend on drinking or drugs.

Nowadays we are living in so complicated and so frustrating world. It is so stressful environment. Everyone has stresses from his job or relationships with people around him. If he didn’t manage this stressful environment he would lose his temper then fall into a distinction then out of a normal life. Stress management is so important in our society especially if you live in big cities. Finding out or creating own methods to relieve your stresses is very necessary in modern society. Meditation is one of best ways to refresh your stress.